Getting to safety
Domestic violence is unacceptable and should not occur in any relationship. It can result in serious physical and psychological injury and impairment and can even lead to death.
Please remember that you always have the right to protect yourself from any form of violence and to seek help. Ensuring your safety is not only important for your own wellbeing, but also for the health and wellbeing of your children.
You decide when it is the right time for you to seek help. It's never too early to seek help and safety. Do not hesitate to contact counselling centres, protective services, youth welfare offices, the police or doctors, friends, colleagues or family.
If you are in a violent relationship, you may have already done a lot to avoid the violence and protect yourself and the children. However, you may also find that you have not been able to avoid the violence after all, that it keeps recurring and that the situation slowly escalates and becomes increasingly dangerous.
It is possible at any time to talk to others, to do something to protect yourself or to get counselling, support and information or to leave the situation.
You decide for yourself when it is the right time to take action. You also decide which courses of action you want to take. You are not alone!
At the latest when you have the feeling that the next outbreak of violence could be very dangerous, perhaps you are also afraid for the children or that you could be killed, you should consider safety measures. Check your options for changing your situation and who is at your side and prepare yourself to be able to flee in an extreme case. It's good to be prepared.
Everyone is eligible for support and safety. Any form of violence, not just physical, is a valid reason to seek support. If you feel or are worried about your and your children's safety, feel threatened, or are afraid at home, you are eligible to seek help.
In relationships involving intimate partner violence, there are often signs that indicate the atmosphere is becoming increasingly tense. This is an opportune moment to seek safety. You can reach out to loved ones or find refuge in a shelter.
You can, but you don't have to do all the preliminary considerations and preparation alone. If You want, the staff at the advice centers will support you and discuss with You about Your specific situation.
It is advisable to make a safety plan and escape plan in advance and have a safety bag ready where you gather essential items such as money, important documents, a wallet, a passport, a change of clothes, hygiene products, your phone, and a cherished toy for your child or children.
Once you leave, consider either turning off your phone or setting it to silent to avoid potential manipulation. Additionally, disable the location tracking feature on your smart devices and buy a new SIM-card.
If you take your children with you when you flee, inform the father or guardian about the situation without saying where you are. Leave a quick note that you and the children are safe. Also inform the youth welfare office about the new situation. This is often the facility turn to first.
It is often safer not to announce your escape in advance.
