Options for shelter

In difficult situations, having support from a trusted friend or family member can be crucial. If pets or small children are involved, a private and peaceful environment is necessary. Staying with a trusted friend or parent can provide familiarity and comfort.

If you want to escape to people in your private environment, it is important to consider whether there could be a risk to everyone involved because the address and the people are known. If in doubt, it is advisable to discuss the situation with the police or an advice center.

If there is a risk, staying in a shelter or refuge should be considered. It can protect relatives if they do not know where you are.

In addition to the question of accommodation, there are other protective measures to consider. This can include taking sick leave to avoid encounters with the perpetrator at work, obtaining a restraining order from the court, changing daily routines, and seeking help from relevant authorities.

It is particularly important to contact child protection and youth welfare services if you have children.

It's not advisable to meet the perpetrator alone. You may then be exposed to manipulation, assurances or threats again.

That's why it's worth discussing solutions with others and seeking help from social services during challenging times. If you have children, always contact the youth welfare office.

Ensure your immediate safety. If you're in immediate danger, call emergency services 110. In cases of no immediate danger or threat, contact a trusted friend, family member, or helpline, Share your situation and develop a support network.

Plan a safe time and place to leave. Consider moments when the abusive close one is away or less likely to notice your absence.

Prepare a discreet bag with important documents (IDs, passports, birth or marriage certificates), financial information and bankcards, keys, notifications from public authorities (e.g. job centre, child benefit fund), medications, clothing, toys for children, favourite souvenirs or photos, USB sticks, and other essential items.

You can also make copies of documents and leave the bag with someone you trust.

Make sure you have money in your pocket in case of an emergency. It is particularly important to open your own bank account after your escape and that all benefits to which you are entitled are transferred to it.

It is particularly important to pay attention to security when using smartphones and electronic devices. You could be monitored. For example, use a different smartphone or buy a new SIM card. The police or counselling centres can also advise you on cyber violence.

Share your plans with someone you trust. Provide them with your escape plan details, a safe word, and a copy of important documents. Identify a safe place to stay, such as a shelter, a friend's home, or a hotel. Ensure it is confidential and known only to trusted individuals. It is sometimes better if they also do not know where you are in case they are threatened. You can arrange other contact options.

Seek legal advice regarding protective orders, restraining orders, or custody arrangements, if necessary. It is important to know your own rights and options for action.

Keep all evidence of the abuse. This could be photos, videos, text and voice messages, letters, etc. They can help in future investigations or court proceedings, when applying for protective measures, at the youth welfare office or the immigration authorities, etc. to make the experience credible or prove it.

Be cautious while leaving. If possible, have someone accompany you during the departure for added security. Please remember that the escape can be a very dangerous time.