Reassurance
In a difficult life situation, it can be hard to find peace of mind and believe that things will work out. It is also possible that the person who did wrong may undermine one’s faith in the future through their words and actions. It is important to take away the power that this person and their discouraging behavior may have. One can remind oneself that they have overcome difficult situations before in their life and that this phase will also pass.
It is helpful to create some kind of vision of the future that one wants to move toward and to start making concrete plans to achieve it. Focusing on practical steps often helps bring a sense of control and capability. All things that are already familiar and safe can also help: loved ones, family and friends, hobbies, and work. It is also important to maintain sufficient sleep and proper nutrition. When one is tired, worries tend to feel much bigger than they actually are.
If one is unsure whether they have made the right decision in their situation, it can be helpful to reflect on it by discussing it with loved ones or professionals. Leaving a violent situation is always the right decision. A person experiencing violence can`t end the violence or change another person on their own. However, it is important for everyone to protect themselves and their own well-being. Sometimes this means leaving behind someone they love. Feelings of uncertainty will pass.
Self-compassion can help when uncertainty takes over. One can try to view the situation by acknowledging that they have made decisions based on the best knowledge and resources available to them at the moment. Many others have been in similar situations and have managed to move forward. Even though things are difficult right now, it does not mean that better times will not come one day. Things will work out—there is no need to panic.
You can ask your loved ones for help with practical matters. Doing something together with another person does not feel as burdensome as doing it alone, especially if the matter is worrying or you feel uncertain about it. People are usually willing to help those close to them.
Sometimes uncertainty is also caused by doubts such as whether one really experienced violence, whether it was actually that bad, or whether it might have been a misunderstanding. These are completely natural reflections. Experiencing violence can make a person question themselves and, as a result, the decisions they have made. Although dwelling on violent incidents is not in itself helpful, but when doubts arise it can be important to remember them. Yes, it happened. Yes, it is real—you did not misunderstand. There is no justification for hurting another person. Violence is always the responsibility of the person who commits it. It was wrong, it had negative effects on you, and you have the right to live a life free from violence.
