Options for shelter

When it comes to protecting yourself from violence, sometimes seeking refuge at a friend's or relative's home is the best option. Not everyone feels comfortable going to a shelter. Shelters can feel institutional and noisy with families and other clients, which might not be ideal for everyone.

Open services

Open services offer support for resolving the situation and coping with the crisis. If you don't want or need to go to a shelter, you can apply for open services. You can get support from the open services even after the shelter period.


Open services are intended for those who have experienced domestic violence, those who have used violence or are afraid of using it and children and young people who have been exposed to it or experienced domestic violence.


The Open services are free of charge.


Open services offer:

  • Discussion support
  • Face-to-face meetings or remote meetings, for example, via phone or video
  • One-on-one conversations, family meetings, couple meetings, peer support groups


You can find more info and the list of entities offering open services here: Nettiturvakoti open services

Family and friends can provide emotional support

In difficult situations, having support from a trusted friend or family member can be crucial. If pets or small children are involved, a private and peaceful environment is necessary. Staying with a trusted friend or parent can provide familiarity and comfort.

Evaluate the risks

When going to the safety of a friend or family, it is important to consider the safety of this option. If there are doubts, it's advisable to discuss the situation with the police or a shelter.

Sometimes, renting a temporary apartment can be a safe option. Some well-being services counties even have safe apartments available for their residents.


Going to a friend or relative might be predictable for the perpetrator. If there's a risk of the perpetrator pursuing or breaking into the home of a friend or family member, going to a shelter is highly recommended.

Consider safety measures

If you decide to seek shelter from places other than shelters, it's essential to prioritise security in other ways. This can include taking sick leave to avoid encounters with the perpetrator at work or on the way, obtaining a restraining order, changing daily routines, and seeking help from relevant authorities.


Contacting child protection is especially important when children are involved.

Don't meet the perpetrator alone

It's not advisable to meet the perpetrator alone. Being away from home and disrupted routines can leave you tired and vulnerable to manipulation. That's why it's worth discussing solutions with others and seeking help from social services during challenging times. If you have children, arrange meetings with child protection or social services present.

What to consider if you decide to proceed without the shelter's help


Planning for a safe exit when fleeing from an abusive close one is crucial. Remember, each situation is unique, and safety is the top priority. Contact local resources, helplines, or domestic violence organisations for guidance and assistance tailored to your specific circumstances. Here are some steps to consider:

Ensure your safety and seek support

Ensure your immediate safety. If you're in immediate danger, call emergency services 112. In cases of no immediate danger, contact a trusted friend, family member, or helpline, e.g. Nollalinja or RIKU. Share your situation and develop a support network.

Nollalinja websiteexternal link icon

RIKU websiteexternal link icon

Create a safety plan

Plan a safe time and place to leave. Consider moments when the abusive close one is away or less likely to notice your absence.

Pack essentials

Prepare a discreet bag with important documents (IDs, passports, birth certificates), financial information, keys, medications, clothing, and other essential items.

Secure finances

If possible, gather important financial documents, set up a separate bank account, and ensure you have access to funds for your immediate needs.

Communicate discreetly

Be cautious while using phones or electronic devices. Your actions might be monitored. Use safe communication methods like a trusted friend's phone.

Inform trusted individuals

Share your plans with someone you trust. Provide them with your escape plan details, a safe word, and a copy of important documents. Agree on a check-in procedure. Identify a safe place to stay, such as a shelter, a friend's home, or a hotel. Ensure it is confidential and known only to trusted individuals.

Consider legal protection

Seek legal advice regarding protective orders, restraining orders, or custody arrangements, if necessary. Understand your rights and options.

Document evidence

Preserve any evidence of abuse, such as photographs, messages, or recordings. These can be important for legal proceedings or protection.

Safety during departure

Be cautious while leaving. If possible, have someone accompany you during the departure for added security.

Quick exit
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