How to ask about domestic violence
You may think you recognise an experiencer or a perpetrator when you see them, but it is crucial to remember that experiences of violence might not always, and mostly aren't, visible. There might be bruises or scratches, which make you worry and want to ask about violence. Then again, there might be concerns even without any clear symptoms. It's good to remember that every time a worry arises, one should ask.
Be sure the person you want to talk to is in a safe environment and, if you are in contact remotely, that they are alone and not monitored.
Explain to them what made you concerned and that they can trust you.
Ask directly and be sensitive. It is their choice if they want to talk about it.
If the person declines violence and you feel they are not being honest, share again what made you ask about it. Tell them that you know it is a common thing that people decline violence, even if they would have experienced it. Assure them, that they can whenever change their mind, you are there to listen, and you wouldn't judge.
If you are their close one, you can also tell them where people can get help if they don't want to talk to anyone they know.
Listen and believe what the person is saying. Tell them that you believe them.
You can ask them if they feel safe at home. If they don't feel safe, you can guide them to a shelter or call a helpline together. If they are not in acute danger, you can tell which professionals are there to help them. You will find info from the Contact details page.
