When it comes to protecting yourself from violence, sometimes seeking refuge at a friend's or relative's home is the best option. Not everyone feels comfortable going to a shelter. Shelters can feel institutional and noisy with families and other clients, which might not be ideal for everyone.
Open services offer support for resolving the situation and coping with the crisis. If you don't want or need to go to a shelter, you can apply for open services. You can get support from the open services even after the shelter period.
Open services are intended for those who have experienced domestic violence, those who have used violence or are afraid of using it and children and young people who have been exposed to it or experienced domestic violence.
The Open services are free of charge.
Open services offer:
Discussion support
Face-to-face meetings or remote meetings, for example, via phone or video
One-on-one conversations, family meetings, couple meetings, peer support groups
You can find more info and the list of entities offering open services here:Nettiturvakoti open services
In difficult situations, having support from a trusted friend or family member can be crucial. If pets or small children are involved, a private and peaceful environment is necessary. Staying with a trusted friend or parent can provide familiarity and comfort.
When going to the safety of a friend or family, it is important to consider the safety of this option. If there are doubts, it's advisable to discuss the situation with the police or a shelter.
Sometimes, renting a temporary apartment can be a safe option. Some well-being services counties even have safe apartments available for their residents.
Going to a friend or relative might be predictable for the perpetrator. If there's a risk of the perpetrator pursuing or breaking into the home of a friend or family member, going to a shelter is highly recommended.
If you decide to seek shelter from places other than shelters, it's essential to prioritise security in other ways. This can include taking sick leave to avoid encounters with the perpetrator at work or on the way, obtaining a restraining order, changing daily routines, and seeking help from relevant authorities.
Contacting child protection is especially important when children are involved.
It's not advisable to meet the perpetrator alone. Being away from home and disrupted routines can leave you tired and vulnerable to manipulation. That's why it's worth discussing solutions with others and seeking help from social services during challenging times. If you have children, arrange meetings with child protection or social services present.
What to consider if you decide to proceed without the shelter's help
Planning for a safe exit when fleeing from an abusive close one is crucial. Remember, each situation is unique, and safety is the top priority. Contact local resources, helplines, or domestic violence organisations for guidance and assistance tailored to your specific circumstances. Here are some steps to consider:
Ensure your immediate safety. If you're in immediate danger, call emergency services**112**. In cases of no immediate danger, contact a trusted friend, family member, or helpline, e.g. Nollalinja or RIKU. Share your situation and develop a support network.
Plan a safe time and place to leave. Consider moments when the abusive close one is away or less likely to notice your absence.
Prepare a discreet bag with important documents (IDs, passports, birth certificates), financial information, keys, medications, clothing, and other essential items.
If possible, gather important financial documents, set up a separate bank account, and ensure you have access to funds for your immediate needs.
Be cautious while using phones or electronic devices. Your actions might be monitored. Use safe communication methods like a trusted friend's phone.
Share your plans with someone you trust. Provide them with your escape plan details, a safe word, and a copy of important documents. Agree on a check-in procedure. Identify a safe place to stay, such as a shelter, a friend's home, or a hotel. Ensure it is confidential and known only to trusted individuals.
Seek legal advice regarding protective orders, restraining orders, or custody arrangements, if necessary. Understand your rights and options.
Preserve any evidence of abuse, such as photographs, messages, or recordings. These can be important for legal proceedings or protection.
Be cautious while leaving. If possible, have someone accompany you during the departure for added security.