It's not easy to end a relationship. It can actually be very difficult, and outside support could help. There may be good sides to your relationship, and it could be hard to give them up. Breakup, separation, or divorce can also be scary in many ways.
If you're thinking about breaking up a violent relationship, it's important to prioritize your safety and well-being. If you need support, talk to professionals about how to plan your exit safely.
Every situation is unique and safety should be the top priority. Adapt your approach based on your circumstances and seek professional help to manage the breakup process safely and effectively.
Plan the breakup carefully, choosing a safe time and place. If possible, have support people or authorities present during the departure to ensure your safety.
Keep your plans confidential. Avoid talking about them in the presence of the abusive partner or in places where you can be heard. Look for private and secure means of communication.
If possible, start building your financial independence by saving money or looking for a job. Consider opening a separate bank account and gathering important documents. Plan well in advance how you can get a new address.
The safety plan ensures your well-being during and after the breakup. It may involve securing a safe place to stay, informing trusted people about your situation, and having a plan in place in case of an emergency.
Keep your passport and important documents in a safe place where your partner can't find them.
Change all your passwords so that the attacker does not have access to your email or bank account.
Contact the helplines; Contact details can be found on the Helplines & Chats page. Professionals can provide guidance, support, and resources to help you through the process.
Reach out to trusted friends and family who can offer emotional support and assistance during the breakup process. Let them know about your situation and develop a plan to stay connected and safe.
Gather and secure any evidence of abuse, including photographs, messages, or witness statements. This documentation may be important for legal purposes or to obtain protective orders.
Seek therapy or counseling to heal from trauma and develop coping mechanisms. Take care of your physical and emotional well-being.
Consult with an experienced domestic violence attorney to understand your legal rights, options, and potential implications of the breakup. You can find support in the Clara Campoamor Association.
With the help of the authorities, reach detailed agreements on issues related to children and divorce. If you have children together and have left them secretly, let the perpetrator know that everyone is safe. Rely on child protection organizations and social services if necessary.
After separation, avoid contact with the perpetrator completely (Contact 0). The "zero contact" technique is a strategy that some people find helpful in getting over a breakup. This involves cutting off all contact with your ex-partner or with the person whose relationship has been decided to end.
To achieve this, it is necessary to delete all types of contact, stop sharing social networks, no more calls or text messages. Avoid any communication for as long as necessary so that this person does not continue to interfere in our lives.
The idea behind "zero contact" is to allow yourself time and space to heal emotionally, process the breakup, and begin to rebuild your life without the constant influence of your ex.
Do not allow your ex-partner into your home under any circumstances. Explore the option of getting a restraining order or a protective order from the court to prohibit the abusive partner from legally contacting or approaching you.